When in Doubt

When in doubt start a new painting. Or two or three.

It’s been a rough week of painting. When I walk around the studio I hear the crunching of dry wax on the floor. Remember pouring milk over Rice Krispies? Or maybe you’ve seen those videos of people eating into a microphone, it’s kind of like that. Gross.

This is the time not to post on social media.

I’ve been thinking more about what I’m posting and when on Instagram, the only social media I use. In these crunchy moods I don’t want to be influenced one way or another by comments or likes. Let me feel my crunchiness and wallow. I need to figure this out on my own. I call it the kitchen work; a term I came up with when I’d practice tango gaunchos and turns holding on to the kitchen counter. Private and relentless. I became a good dancer.

I’m beginning to believe that when I post a painting in process I am influenced by the responses. I’ve lost the privacy and relentless pursuit of my standards. And I don’t want to be. If there are many likes for a piece that I feel isn’t done; I stop and ask why. I question my own sensibilities. Pleasing people or myself.

“Show your process! The behind the scenes…the mess. The story!”

Right. Why?

This might be good for gaining followers and maybe collectors. Yet is it good for the development of my work? Audience matters.

I took another look at some of the art accounts that I follow on Instagram. To my surprise many were only showing completed work. For those who showed work in process it was “artfully” staged. These artists had many followers too. Why does that even matter?